Thursday, January 8, 2015
Hi there world,
Sorry I haven't wrote much lately, been busy experiencing the world or in other words growing up. So much has happened since I last wrote something here, so much has changed but the intriguing thing is that the same reason that brought me here many years ago still bring me back here. A time when you think your voice is unheard, you write into this infinite space called the internet, hoping that someone else in the world is listening to you and understanding you. That feeling is something that you'll never grow out of but maybe feel it ever increasing as you grow up.
So where do I begin, lets see. I've since graduated uni went on a lovely holiday to explore more of the world, something that is so beautiful, something that should be the necessity in one's life but not a luxury, to learn, to grow, to discover... that is suppose to be the essence of life. But since graduating, I feel that society has pushed for young people to already know who they want to be and become in a short period of time, maybe even before entering university. Ironically, the same society breeds the "you're a chosen one" mentality into young ones, making them grow into the illusion that they have a purpose here, that they are special and that they are meant to do great things, but lack the infrastructure to allow each and every young aspiring talent flourish.
Graduating university is like a push into society, you've got your paper now time to go fend yourself, it's like a kick off the cliff into an alternate universe where it's make or break.
I know that many of us couldn't wait to grow up, do what we want without having the need to listen to our parents. As that day of independence grew closer, so did the increasing responsibilities not only to ourself but to others. Many a times have I asked myself "Why should or Why do I care?" followed by "Does it really matter to me". Moments where I got upset and frustrated by things that I believe shouldn't, the self conflict. Slowly, growing up doesn't seem that pleasant anymore, to face the harsh truth of life, that life is filled more with irony and contradictions, in other words "choices", each with its repercussions. With that comes the art of buying time, making things continue without making a conscious choice, we all do it, going to a crazy extend just to make things last a little longer. In truth, we are digging our own graves, sooner or later, we're stuck in our own hole until we make a choice.
In the moment, I've lost myself, who am I, who do I want to become, aimless and lonely. Is it right to want to be alone, or is it an excuse to escape?
The dream of being someone significant in this world only becomes a reality for that very few that perseveres through the harshness of reality and do something. For those who don't believe in luck, I can assure you, you would need a lot of luck, for what is the point having a dream when the timing, people, tools and everything in between isn't ready for your dream.
I apologise for my scattered thoughts.
but when will I truly be me?
-The person that might go unheard - voice of a generation?
silenced at 1/08/2015 05:16:00 PM