Wednesday, January 23, 2008
In baseball you have three strikes and you're out. I guess I couldnt last till third one and had to bail out. This strike like the previous one was sharp and accurate, just that this one had a bigger impact and blew me off. I guess the pitcher did hit the jackpot this time.
But even if I was forced to bow out, it doesnt mean it is the end of me. I will stick to the people who have mold me and train twice as harder and come back bigger and better. Even if the time period is long, I'm willing to endure the agony and face the obstacles. I will train hard, make it a 1 year and 9 months course.
When I think I'm ready, filled with the maturity and the capability, I will be then sent out to the pitch to continue my battle. The saga to retain my status does not end here.
For now, I'll be patient and hope that my coach will stick close and believe in my capabilities and not abandon me during the course that will take much more effort than our regular training.
I do have faith in myself, or I think I do... But I need your support... Your cheers to push me further. Don't let the enemy fool you once and make you be afraid to strike out once more.
I hope even with the long hours and the days and weeks, months and years, it wont alter me although, these will do impose changes. It is inevitable
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In an unrelated event,
I believe I may not be as mature as my parents nor do I have the knowledge like they have. It is sure I defer to my parents because they do prove themselves as wise as I think they are. But to be honest, they do push you to your limits!
Because they think they're way over matured than we are, they can step up and control our lives whenever they want. I do agree that they are allowed to do so with a condition that it is also within our approval and not work things to their belief behind out backs!
Can they talk nicely, ore are they born to be lecturers... lecturers of life... I am your son, not your barbie doll, I may live in the world that you have buildt for me, but why try fitting into it when it is easier to build mine. Who is to blame when I'm a black sheep? Well, the conditions to live in your world.
And you know that the path I choose may not be yours but that doesnt mean I'm throwing away everything that I've got. what you call, " THROWING AWAY MY FUTURE". Like you said, MY future, don't I get a fair share on what it is to become of. Yes, I do need guidance, but that will be valid when solicited. Well, to be honest, am I throwing away my future, or the future you have planned for me.
You do realise that I'm not capable of all the things you put me to. I try, but then I just cant meet your expectations. When will you quit testing me, I'm not your lab rat, once again, I'm your SON! When I cant go through with it, dont force me. When I've did ok, dont try to make me do even better when you know it was my best.
Maybe I am unlucky to have to step up to large footsteps. Large shoes to fill.
I'm not mad or what, I just hope I get a fair share of my life and not live in your fantasy word... but then again, I'm living under you... house rules...
not much I can express, but I'm just going to be me
silenced at 1/23/2008 06:11:00 PM
