Sunday, January 27, 2008
I cant believe the fact that I'm being so Emo, lately.. That is! It isnt 100% me, but too bad, I think I've fet fallen into the bag of emo cases. Friends do sense the change. They know that I've been a little "odd".
A silent death it may be, but undoubtedly, life isnt so easily put down, or can it? I feel nostalgic, flabbergasted by what has happened. And yet I cant find a legitimate reason to it. I sit there in the middle of the night, worst, daylight, feeling all lonely and bleeding. Weird, I know I should be doing something, but I havent got a clue. So then loneliness manipulates into traggic graphics... So DRAMATIC!
I know at this state, I'm prone to many things that are bound to make my mind wander, rounding up in saddness. I know this may be a little cookoo especially for a guy, but I'm not afraid of tears. To be honest, every verse of each song does affect my state, SERIOUSLY! I can even curl up in bed, flipping around, walk to a corner of the room, go down on my knees, lay my head on the ground, stare out into the open... and slowly have tears flow down the cheeks. I know its a little too much, but then I know it is my heart, trying to get something across but fail, because it failed, it screams out in sorrow.
The heart burns, it hurts. It bleeds as it cries deep inside. Looking ahead, I cant believe why I cant just slam away everything and be like the others who have "moved on".
Is it hatred I feel, NO... It is not hate, but the sense of losing something, the sense of lonliness....
Nothing can fill/amend what is missing, but only by retriving it back is the only way. Doing this is nothing, it wont bring me any good. But surely, it can put my heart to ease(I think). For now, someone seeks to be alone.. and that person is not me.... Who is it, I wonder...
silenced at 1/27/2008 10:17:00 PM
