For d past few days here, nothing special happened. Stayed at home most of the time. Beginning to have nostalgia.
Once you're in Perth for a few days, you can never forget the fact that it is indeed one of the most boring city in Australia. If not for the people here, it might be dead. The people change that concept of it being boring. Then again, it is not my first time here, so seriously there isnt much to see here.
Since I have so much time to myself. What do I do? Kill the time away with television which has programmes that crease to suck. Only at night they have something nice. Last night, they were showing the season finale of Heroes, because I didnt watch season 2 at all, I refrained myself from the tv screen.
I really miss home a lot. Miss my bed. Cant wait till we are reunited. Not to forget that i really miss my family and friends. Lets see who i miss, though I cant name all. The below is according to alphabetical order.
Well, that is not all. My brain juice ran dry. Above all I miss MY MUM!And family. That includes my doggies.
Such a short period I'm away, i start missing this and that. Most likely, it is because I am not enjoying myself. :)
Going out tonight? Maybe.
silenced at 11/30/2007 12:15:00 PM
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Because we didnt win much last night, or maybe we lost at the casino, we had to stay home for dinner, no money to go out and have a fab dinner. HAHAHA...
Now, it is doing all with your own hands...
Slept in really late today, I guess till 2pm! So we didnt go out at all. We didnt go out the entire day. The TV programmes are bad. I mean worst than in Malaysia! But around 4.45pm, I shouted to dad, pies at half price at Jesters! Well, it happens every day, about 5pm, the pies are sold off at the cheap! And since we wanna save money now, we opted to get the pies as a portion for dinner. Weeeeee....
Went on the road and went to Carousel, came down from the ca and hurried to Jester. We havent got much time left as the shopping centers here close at about 5pm to 5.30pm but there are days where they will be open till late at night. For this fact, I miss shopping in Malaysia where the shops closes around 10pm.
Anyway, after getting the pies which had a great smell, me, my sister and dad walked around for a few minutes and head back to the car. Back home, it is more TV and music, luckily I brought my music stuff here, provides extra entertainment.
About 6.30pm, I started defrosting the mine beef. I wanted to make cabonara but we didnt buy cream sauce. Well, my dad and sister pushed me to the kitchens today. Started off with the onions and garlic, sliced finely and some grind.
Without cream sauce, I just had to make beef pasta sauce... Got ready the hot water and started cooking the spaghetti. As the noodles were put on the stove and set to cook and soften by itself, I went to prepare the the sauce... Poured the pasta sauce, stomped some tomato, and add some milk and onion and garlic and mushrooms. All of those went into a pot and stirred it well.
On the fires were two pots, one for the spaghetti, while the other is the sauce... Took out a frying pan and started to cook the already seasoned minced beef. As they truned brownish grey, signifying that it is cooked well done, I throw them into the sauce and continue stirring it. As I left the stove, I took the left over minced beef, put it into a bowl, and added black pepper, table salt, onions and soya sauce. With my hands made them into several meat balls.
Cooked them on the frying pan. And as it started to look good, I took it out from the pan. Poured the water from the spaghetti and put them on plates. Poured the sauce on the spaghetti and place the meat balls on top and add some cheese bits..
Honestly it looked really nice but then, I was rushing really fast as I only had two hands and it is in a kitchen I have never used before. Finding for things were really slow.
Called my sister and dad out for dinner. They tried but then, it was a turn down, the spaghetti was not that good, I was rushing, as a result, the noodles were not soft enough. the sauce was good. Finally arrived to my meat balls, mine was done really well, but for my sister's the soya sauce wasnt even, eventually was a little salty. My dad's looked nice on the outside, but it was medium well done. So it wasnt well cooked. I felt really bad.... But it did fill up the empty tummy space. I still like the meat balls.... HAHAHA
Right now, I'm signing off and headed to my driving lessons... WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, driving rocks!
silenced at 11/28/2007 11:07:00 PM
Today is my sister's 18th birthday so we had planned for a fun day. But of course we planned to have great one but some plans were cut down. The star of the day started really boring and slow. My sister went to stay over at her friend's as the friend is leaving soon. Well practically, a few friendS.
By the time she finish sending all of her friends off, it was about 5pm. I stayed at home, had the opportunity to chat and catch up with what is happening at home and to see what I missed out on.
After that, we planned for dinner, we planned to go to North Bridge for food as many bistros and restaurants and clubs are located there. Before that, we went to fetch my cousin out to join us for dinner.
At first we wanted to have a big dinner by inviting most of my sister's close friends for dinner but most of them left in the morning. Since most of them were gone, we only manage to get one to join for dinner. At least.
As we arrived at North Bridge, we havent decide what restaurant to go to, but then I remember that there is a really nice restaurant which I was dying to try, it was THE GREEK. They serve Greek food which is something I havent had. It really was authentic and special. Though the food serve is a little like Turkish food, but then again it had a different taste.
Right after dinner, we head off to get bubble tea and Durian flavour gelato which was not recommended to the "faint hearted". It didnt taste bad, but it really taste good! The worker there said it was now the most popular flavour in the shop, HAHAHA... watch them QuaiLou eat Durian, how daring...
And since it was HER 18th birthday, it gave my sister her legal rights to enter a casino. Without further ado, we adjourned to Burswood. Where there is a casino which once had a partnership with Genting, the only casino back in Malaysia.
They all entered the casino as they were all legal age, then I went to another enterance with my cousin. Soon after my dad came out with my sister friend's passport. With that I entered the casino without haste. MY FIRST TIME IN A CASINO! hahaha, although I was underage I manage to play a game or 2, didnt really win anything though. Hahaha, Being able to enter illegally is already a big step, what more if I was actually sitting down playing. HAHAHA
When the "field trip" ended, we sent my cousin and my sister's friend back home and now, I am blogging here. Ready to go to bed.
PS: I would love to put a lot of photos on, but I havent got my cable, so I will post them when I get home. Maybe come back next time.
silenced at 11/28/2007 02:48:00 AM
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
For the next few weeks I'll be staying here in Australia, so might as well do something. But I dont think touring around is on the itinerary.
Since touring the place wont start to the last week of my stay, I have been shopping at a nearby mall, Carousel. The mall aint so bad... Havent really got anything new because I am saving up for Harbour Town. The place where the things are much cheaper as its mostly factory outlets.
For yesterday's(26/11/07) highlights, we met up with my cousin and her husband and two adorable but might be very cranky daughters... We went shopping together and had lunch and dinner together.
For dinner we went to a Italiano restaurant. To be honest the food was fab and the portions were really big. I mean BIG! But that aint the best for sure, but they had they individuality. The sauce on the veal was really nice though it wasnt as tender as steak. And the french fries are just very nice, fat like wedges but it taste a little different.
I had Salmone, a pasta with cream sauce, vegetables, salmon and of course pasta. It was really nice but when it got cold, it really makes you wanna puke. HAHAHA.
After that, we went home, it was around 9.00pm, then my dad said," Since we dont have a car at home, why not we let you try driving here." Without any arguments, we ended up in an empty car park, my sister came down from the driver's seat. I was in a state of shock and pleasure to be able to step behind the wheel.
I started off really badly, jerking the car, accelerating and breaking like a stupid noobie. But soon I got a hang of it and was asked to drive around the parking lot and went over the speed bumps. Soon I was parking the car but it was so bad because I totally dont know how to do it. It was so easy on Need For Speed. LOL
I also did a three point turn, but it was so darn bad! I totally need to have a better driving class. I cant wait till I get my driving licence next year.
After that "driving class", we headed off home. And waited for 12am(0000hour) to arrive. Wished my sister HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Yes, it is her birthday. Gave her presents and soon, her friends arrived.
Wow they are a bunch of really active and energetic and loud people, funny personality too. Although I really have to twitch my wavelength a bit while I'm with them as I really dont get what they are saying nor do they get me. I wonder is my Chinese really that alien? Some of them had to take sometime till they actually get what I was saying. Well, they come from different countries so there are a variety of language in use that night. :D
After they left at about 2 am, I clean up the dishes as they brought sushi and cake. And my sister left with them to stay over at their house. I'll see her the next morning. Which is suppose to be now! After doing the washing, I went to bed.
silenced at 11/27/2007 02:07:00 PM
Monday, November 26, 2007
I have now safely arrived in Perth. And was welcomed by my sister and my dad who had came earlier. We're now on daylight saving that is why I'm actually 1 hour ahead of Malaysia. Although time difference, I still feel the same, no jet lag, no nothing.
The first they went by with me getting use to the new environment though there isnt much you need to do to get use to this place, after all it is not my first time here. For the next few weeks, I will be here, missing out on a lot happening back home.
And another things is, I was so looking forward to working while I'm here, do something productive, I dont think that will be possible as the company which I wanted to work at needs at least 2 weeks to train, I dont think I have that much time to go through lessons, unless I can find a quick and easy job, I'll be working.
To those I miss, look at the moon, for it comes out every night, and I'll be looking at it. The beauty that we see in our eyes are the sasme thing, the moon will never alter. Look at it, and know that I'll be looking at it too....
silenced at 11/26/2007 09:30:00 PM
Saturday, November 24, 2007
When the rain pours it blurs out the vision, I look, but I see nothing, nothing but mist and water droplets all around, even the sound is disturbing and doesn't bring peace to the ears, but then when I see nothing that is worth while, I see a rainbow. A rainbow that has 7 colours, out of the blues there it is, the colours that make up white light finally reveals itself, and that makes me smile.
You are my rainbow, you make me smile, you make me laugh. Most of all, you make me regain the vision to see something when there is nothing at all.
Thank You
silenced at 11/24/2007 12:54:00 PM
Friday, November 23, 2007
King Solomon has his touch of gold. Everything he touched turned to GOLD. Even his cat and wife turned to gold when they were kissed or patted. Those little actions of affection might turn things beautiful, but is that what he wanted, did he want his wife and cat to turn into cold hard rock made of gold, they cant show how they feel back ever again. Eventually, love is not returned and soon ran out.
I have a gift, but not the touch of gold... I dont know why, lately but I am given a gift, I can make things that are so beautiful very easily, the beauty of these gifts has captivated my heart. It made me smile. But then again these beauty had come by so easily that it has always been short lived.
Is it fair? But life isn't fair, what more can I ask of? But no one told me, I mean no one told me that bad incidents come in an endless string, hitting you down, pinning you back to the ground even when you havent even got a hold of yourself from the previous fall.
Though I cant be hasty, some of the beauty still remains strong and lasting. Not of a Sakura which beauty is divine but not lasting, whittlers through the passing day. But there are some,who yet still consist of vogue, passion, elegance. But to be honest, these beauty cant be said by words, sometimes too beautiful it turns an eye sore, but it's imprinted in your mind that can never be erased. Like photographs we take when we see a eye catching scenery, the beauty at that moment forever stays in the photo.
But as time change, this beauty alters, the scenery changes, the green turns to brown, but then again nature is something special, the beauty will grow back again. Just wait, as things turn ugly before beautiful. Although it is the latest bloom, it will be the most beautiful of all.
I cant bring back the beauty, but then I've lived with the beauty. I lived with it to the fullest.
You can say that like the world holds many wonders, many beauties. Yes, I agree, there are a lot of beautiful things in the world, but they are not the same. Each has their own specialty, each and everyone has its differences which makes them one of a kind. Once its gone, it might never come back, but its rare, it might come when you didnt expect it the most.
To those beautiFULL things who have gone with the wind, I adored each and everyone of you. Those that are still around here with me, I take need you the most now, I have now found the reason to appreciate it more.
silenced at 11/23/2007 01:28:00 AM
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
At first I was pissed, I grumble when I had a surprise of a air ticket which came slapping right in front of my holiday plans. I didnt want it at all! I would gladly give it to someone else. But that was then.
Looking at the ticket now, I really am looking forward, after all things didnt go as planned and if I was still going along with my original holiday plans, there would be a tough time altering it!
Right now, since the plans crashed itself, I guess taking the one month trip to Australia might turn out something nice. A relief! In one month, things might change, and hopefully for the better, and since there were so many "drama", maybe not that many, I might have time to get my head straight, and come back to be a nicer person. I mean, I think I was rather mean in some of the drama... Maybe things will cool down and we can just continue a good connection.. :P
But then again, its such a long period, I'll be missing my family, my friends and worst of all some special occasions like my pal's birthday! Geez, whoever's birthday I was meant to wish, please, take this "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" as my wish on that day. Would love to celebrate with everyone of you...
But there is nothing I can do, the ticket is issued and I'm packed and ready to go. So I might as well enjoy it. Maybe it isnt that bad after all, going to see my sister!
silenced at 11/20/2007 04:38:00 PM
Sunday, November 18, 2007
The day started off really smooth as I was anticipating for the arrival of the concert. The sound of it and the picture I had in my head already made it sound like it was full of fun, or so I thought. As it closed, I started getting really excited. Couldn't wait for its arrival!
In the morning I hurried to do a deed. Run some errands. I was really happy I could help out. It hurried off once I got the "duty" and not stopping to say no.
When the hours were ticking closer to the concert. I got dressed and left off for the concert with Derrick, it took me a lot of time to finally convinced him to go. And my efforts paid off!YAY!
There I met G and D. They were so quiet when they saw me, but I didnt acknowledge it, so I hand over the stuff I did and that ended my deed. Mission accomplished. Althought my deed was not noticed, because I didnt get a thank you. But it was a small matter. To top that, today was the first day we met. The very first time.
Later Joel came with Qianie. YAY! Finally the people I have been waiting for all times. Hahaha, since G and D was quiet, I was really glad that both of them was there. They really did enlighten the boredom though Derrick did too.
As the concert was going on, we saw dance shows, jazz bands, wind bands, and even metal. Later G went up on stage. So then I saw D sitting there all alone, so called D over to start aconvo and we started to joke around. But I had to attend to some friends at the same time. I felt bad for Derrick because he didnt know much people there and I ignored him sometimes.
At one point, Joel told me something came up, something bad. And I was blur. So as G finished the gig, drama started. You can see D&G going against each other, and that was when it hit me that I just landed myself into a drama from the very beginning when they were being cold to me. Dstormed off due to madness. And since D wasnt a Penagnite, neither was G. I had to rush after D because Joel had to rush for G,so At the same time, I knew D needed an ear to express, so I went and at the same time, to make sure Ddoesnt get lost. I tried to stop D but everything I tried to say proved worthless except giving time to express.
We walked up and down the street and G just keep calling and shouting, things were getting worst. And suddenly I thought of Derrick, I totally left him at the concert. I was so sorry! Ididnt mean it to happen! I felt so bad, called to check up and he said it was ok though I think I did something so wrong. At the same time I had to look out for D, D doesnt even look out for the cars while crssing the road. But it gave us time to bond. G doesnt trust me, so eventually I got scolded. I dont really blame G, maybe my actions didnt prove my maturity, but my words are strong, I know the right words. But I didnt really use any of that that night. Thank You Joel for believing in me.
As I and D walked down the road and up, it gave us time to know the situation and at least D could get a clearer picture of the things and not jump into a conclusion. And I cant say that I know everything, but I believe ego is the factor that makes all this drama happen. Some of us are too inclined to our ego that we dont really intend to make the first move even when we cool down and know that we did the wrong thing.
Later G and Joel met up with me and D at a coffee shop, we were having dinner. When G arrived, D got scolded... And so did I, I stared that blankly thinking what did I do wrong and I knew what was happening, I knew what D had to say, all D was saying then was all not the right words, not the truth which he told me. But then G didnt want me to say a word and roared, "YOU F***KING SHUT UP!"... To be honest I was rather offended. But I knew he wasnt in the right mood and don't blame him....
TO be honest I wasnt prepared at all, I was scared.... Thank God I had Joel with me... I really didnt want to be there, because my every action or involvement in it might create danger to me. I was the wrong person at the wrong time. Even if I tried to help and my intentions were pure, I still was wrong but I didnt know how...
But after hours, things cooled down... And was out of sight. Still traumatised by the incident, Joel and Qian gladly welcome to join them on their outing when I asked them if I could tag along. It was fun being the limelight, but at least it did help ease the nerves.. And we went all the way to Auto City to have fun... weeee
and after that the night ended. But seriously, I dont really wanna get anywhere near D&G... oOo Dolce and Gabbana
silenced at 11/18/2007 05:57:00 PM
For the pass few days, I just keep going to Gurney to have my hair done. I made it into two parts and Nicholas was the one who helped me out.
On the first day, right after class, I stormed to the shopping complex and head off to get a kick start my "make over", that was then I was introduced to Nicholas, he really can work his hands with scissors.
At the start, I just blab to him what I want, or around how it should be. Then off he start, snipping off hair. At that point I was nervous how my hair is going to be because I had times where the person totally ignored what I wanted or misinterpreted what I wanted and my hair turned out to the a catastrophe.
But after sitting at that chair for nearly 30 minutes, I finally saw good results... Was rather happy... and when it was styled up... Darn, it sure looked good.. I dont mean to be narcissistic, but I really adored it to some point.
Since I wanted to dye my hair due to peer influence and westernised brain... I finally clinged a deal with Nicholas to do my hair on the next day when he offered a package.
The next day, I went to the same shop, called for Nicholas... At first we were discussing of what colour I wanted. When I went there, I wantedhighlights and keep my black roots still there. But as he start convincing me that I wont look good, he told me to dye the whole head. And since it was of the same price... I agreed to it..
So first, went for a wash... Got A blow dry and then started colouring... It was when he asked, are you sure you want highlights, very sure? That was when I said, "ok ok, whole head. I trust you!"
The there was no turning back... About 40 minutes the dye cover the all parts of the hair. And the pigment was left to soak into the hair for around 25 minutes, but since my hair was really black at that time, it took a little longer to get the best results....
While waiting for the dye to take its action, I kept myself occupied with magazine! But shit, all the mags where so retarded, all I see is how to put on ur make up in style or how to fully utilise a dress, you can wear it 3 ways, as a mini cocktail dress, a poncho or as a skirt... It was so not getting me entertained, but there are some nice articles... Though mostly it is about make up, which artist use this which artist use that!
So after that wait, finally I had my hair washed again, got it dry and finally saw the colour. Once it was done, it looked like ash grey, but everyone knows that the colour slowly gets more obvious as you start washing. So this is how it looked like at first, though I really like it.
After a few hours, the colour started to change to red, though it wasnt the colour I really wanted... But by the next day... It changed to brown... oOo... I'm watching evolutions of hair dye! HAHAHAHA
After having it all done, some people started showing that they dont like it but then again, I like it... hahaha... Some people think I'm too young to get my hair dyed, or now isnt the right time.. There are also some that thought differently. So which one are you?
silenced at 11/18/2007 05:31:00 PM
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
My parents gave me a "surprise" today, right after dinner they told me that they already booked a ticket for me to Australia. I know its gonna be fun and all but I was stunned because it was just too sudden. I already started planning my holiday. I was suppose to go to KL and not fly a few thousand miles to Australia...
All my plans, the trip that I was anticipating all crashed. I really wanted to go down to KL. But then again, I was looking forward to my next Australian Trip.. So I was a little messed up, I wanted to go but yet I didnt feel like ditching my plans....
Then again, I had to tell all people that about my sudden change of plans...
The main purpose was to inform people. But then during the passing of information. I had a bad turning point. It really made my mood sulk. I was really sad at that point. But then again. All you got to do is cry. Let go off the incident and then move on. Look up and walk after your 3 minutes cry. Be strong.
Crying does not mean you're weak, but people who cry knows what the purpose it, besides it shows that the person was true and devoted and when the incident turned sour, they get badly affected.
I guess this song might help to explain a lot.
Things might not go the same way, we might not walk the same path again, but then we can always make our paths close to each other...
So now, I pack my stuff head for the jet and leave for Australia... Next week.
silenced at 11/14/2007 05:45:00 PM
Right after coming home from school... Was rushing to get cleaned up from the mess school give, the smell of sweat had to be cwashed off...
I was going out with one of my favourite girlfriends! Ashie! Rushed into the bathroom and came out, saw her calling me, I felt really bad for having to be late. But she knew I just arrived home from school. And that the movie tickets were a lil late. While waiting, she went to shop first..
After I was ready, I saw that there was no car. Meaning no transport! Dammit, so had to bear the hot sun and walk to Gurney... *Fast Forward >>*
Upon arrival, we headed right for the cinema, took the next show for StarDust(don't wanna talk about how the movie is, just read the review). Got the meals and head right into the cineplex. Sat there, shared our popcorn and joke around while waiting for the movie to start.
After that, we did some light shopping and ended up getting the same necklace, as she is SueLyn and I'm Seumas, we got "S"es...LOL
after that, we went to play with shades...
Soon after, we went for dinner at erm "KOREN BBQ CHICKEN"... something like that... honestly the food was good, really nice and all... Something special.. We shared a nice meal together and soon our day came to an end.
Went home after we stroll around the mall and talked.
silenced at 11/14/2007 05:29:00 PM
As a student, it is my duty to continue going to school even if there is only one period where there is teacher and the rest(9 periods) are totally empty... During this time most student would skip school. But my parents insisted I go.
Those who went had carte blanche, they could play around, bring decks of cards, making music and listening to music. I'm just the normal student who goes to school and sit there doing nothing. Really, everything was really stupid, and retarded. So i chose to roam around in school, move to other classes and chat with friends and even bringing my Ipod for entertaiment.
But that still proved boring enough... Until I mate a saviour. It is really mind blowing and gets you occupied... Its the rubics cube. It really kills those hours... So I manage to solve once, with a lot of help from U-wen, though I really manage to do it with his pointers and formulae...
Ready Set Go!
around 20 minutes later....
that was only the beginning...
20 more minutes later..... I know it looks some what similar... I was STUCK!
Called 911 and asked for help... U-Wen to the rescue With a few tutorial and formulae.. Wahlah....
Done it a total of 50 minutes plus...
:D
silenced at 11/14/2007 05:03:00 PM
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Love isn't all about lust and hugs and kisses and saying sweet things to each other. Love is going through conflicts and coming out together stronger and firmer. This is what I think after these few weeks.
This simple definition of love is applicable for the love between family, lovers, friends. Though it might seem to be easy to understand. But know this that not all results of a conflict will turn out good. Not all will come up stronger. Some might just crash and burn in the flames of the flare from arguments. In the end, the hearts of both parties unlock and grow further apart.
For the pass few days, I just had my time experiencing love from different parties. Most of it came from family and friends. The ups and downs, and the complications of the conflicts between us has made us bond better. Although we were vulnerable back then, tears and heartaches were common, we just have to hold on.
For the outside, I maybe subjective or I may rebel, but deep inside all I want is to work things out for both parties. Only Friday I had a counselling appointment which I did arrange myself. Hopefully the out come of it is positive.
I really wanna thank all those who have been there for me through my hard times, my family, though sometimes the outcome doesnt end as plan, doesnt mean I'm trying to go against you. I'm actually trying my best inside, my actions of repent may not be visible but they do exist. To my friends, who cares if it was a face to face, heart to heart talk, or it was over the phone, the net... you guys have shown your Worth's, sticking out for me like that. I may have caused you some problems on the way too, for that I do apologise. No matter if I had you scolded for something you're not found guilty of, I really am sorry from my hearts core.
I'm strong, I'll love again.
silenced at 11/10/2007 11:06:00 PM
Friday, November 9, 2007
With the exams gone, the only thing that I'm anticipating is the year end holiday! I really cant wait for that to arrive because of the line up of events that is gonna happen, the people I'm dying to meet up with and visits and the moments of spending time in the shopping mall. I cant wait to hang around in the new malls in KL, may it be Pavillion, Sunway Pyramid 2, The Gardens or Jusco Bukit Tinggi. I'm just gonna make the best of my holiday.
Went to school yesterday, the first day after the exams, it was like hell! The school was rather dead, my best mates werent even there! Even teachers were off thanks to the year end meetings and seminars! With only 2 teachers coming in for the day, I was bored out of my skull.
Went to other class to hang out and chat! Thanks to Hobart who made things in dull's ville less "DULL"... LOL
I really wish to skip the last week of school and head off to KL, have a great kick start with my holidays! It would be fun. I also cant wait for next saturday(17th Nov) where I'll be in New World Park, going to the Urban Youth Concert and dying to see Gerald in action behind the drums! Then the next day 18th, Its off to KL!
WEEEEEEE... for the time being, I'll just enjoy time on the Island.
silenced at 11/09/2007 12:47:00 AM
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Havent been blogging lately, was too caught up with my exams.. While the exams are in place I had to face other matters that were really distressing. Though I try hard to seek for help or just to get my head in the right place, the books, it just isnt that easy. I know that some of this problems arise from me.
But I'm trying to take it really slow and rationally. I may show my rebellious side but honestly, my feelings has just went numb. It hurts to see the outcome of the rebels in me but and one side, you have the urge to see it.
My mind has been pondering with subjects that isnt tested in my exam. During papers, my mind go blank and there I sat at the desk, froze, I have no idea what happened. A minute I was taken away with the words coming from the paper, then a minute later, I horrified with the images I see in my mind, some were saddening and some were agitating!
It was worst during essays, for all 3 essays, Chinese, Malay and English, it made me think badly. The titles to choose from could relate to the problems I'm having, even though I paused and stare into blank air most of them, I manage to pen down essays that were of pure feelings, may it be hatred, self-pity, self-condemnation, sadness.... It turned into words. Even though the stories do not portray the true side of the story, just untwist the words and you'll see the true darkness of it.
I'm trying to be strong. Trying to take every detail in slowly, I may show that I do not appreciate your every help, but the truth is I'm trying really hard to understand you. You have to know that all these isnt easy for me as much as its for you... You may cry and show it to me, but I to have a soft spot behind close doors. And who ever say boys dont drop tears, that is totally wrong. Just see when people you love have they're backs against you, you'll know how to cry, none of us have ever forgotten how, because that is the first thing we learnt when we came out from our mama's womb.
I'm sorry to some who I've drag into this situation, but I really do appreciate the time and effort you put in on me. I may be subjective, but the truth is I'm taking in every word all of you have been saying. But of course you don't expect everyone to have the same answer, so when I balance all of your advices, I myself get disturbed.
For now, let me get back on my two feet. I know I need to help myself, but give me time, and advice will be needed when solicited.
This here is what I know bout me:
I'm Seumas(Shay-mas)
Its MY NAME.
If you have a problem with that,I cant help you. I cant just go changing my birth cert.(I've already changed it once)
I enjoy a good conversation most and hate lonliness most!I love getting new stuff
Earth Wars : Attack of the Shopaholic! May it be CLOTHES to Tech-kies to Noise-makers and even books!
I've got a thing for Radio DJ-ing and Hosting!
Its really fun!
I love to spice up life with a lil SARCASM and HUMOUR! A lil can never hurt! But I just love it in full scale sometimes.
My personality is seen through YOUR EYES!
It changes at times and please never be too quick to judge! Because I might make a few wrong turns before ending up in the right way.
DIRECTIONS: To look at older post, click on [ARCHIVES], choose any month you wish to go to and wait for the page to refresh then press [MY CORPUS] and scroll through to see them! ENJOY!
To comment : Go to [COMMENTS] and just leave a comment or tag on my blog :D