Saturday, October 6, 2007
I try to live up my title as a friend! I keep myself available at rough times, going the extra mile to help. I worry and get paranoid just to know you are
ok. I try to keep your cool and smile to you to keep you happy. Because at the end of the day, to me, it is you that matters and not that stranger I saw walking down the road.
But when I get enthusiastic because I'm really dying and sweating it out to be a friend, you say I'm super annoying. I care deeply for friends. It just gets on me, all I do is care and now I'm the criminal? I know it may get jumpy at time, but that is just me. Friends do linger in the mind sometimes.
At times I think I give my trust away too easily that it makes me
vulnerable, prone to people stepping over my head. Even if you needed credit I ran to the closest shop to get it from you, and from there I had to ask for a thank you? Now that was not the case. Having given you more than you asked for, I dont even get a sms for you, from the credits I paid for. Now that makes me feel like I'm being used. But I try to twist what is in my mind knowing that you are better.As much as I want to voice out, I try to pull it back, because all i know is that I wanna be your friend. I may be just a chat to you, but as long as you still talk to me, it doesnt matter if you treat me as a friend you seek for or just another guy you talked to. But since I'm getting annoying to you, I might as well pause on the caring and maybe cut down on the chats.I shatter myself to mold myself to meet YOUR expectations. I never expected my happy go lucky personality to be welcomed by all people.But promise me, let me try over and over again to be your friend.to be frank, I get a lil off to see that others got to your side so easily when I had to take the long way. But life isnt far and I'll try harder
I'm sorry.
ps: I call to show I cared, not annoy! For the time being, I'll let you have your timeout and then we can talk again, that way things will be way better and hopefully our bond is stronger!
silenced at 10/06/2007 07:09:00 PM
