Friday, October 12, 2007
After that out-of-my-mind "confession, I knew things were never gonna be the same. But yet I still wanted it to be the same. My stubborn
personality just wanted to talk to you even when you required space. It ruined everything.
Right now, even if I wanted to
apologise to you, I can't for you have firmly stated that the more I did so, the more annoying I got. I think I had my say which eventually turned you sour. S....(can't say)
At first, I believe that trying to amend things with you was the only thing I could do. I wanted to speed things up really badly just to heal what I
thought was a broken friendship. Tried to cook up an overnight cure.
But after hearing what you had to say, I was drawn aback. I should have given you space. Now, I take your statement that " I WAS THE PERSON WHO RUINED IT", me, the spoiler. I also take your blame that I have abused your trust and actually did some investigation. Even if I
didnt or it
wasnt my
intentions, I finally do not deny your every accusation.
Seeing our world we strongly build upon crash into pieces, it hurts as all the effort we both put in to colour up our
lives just parish like that. I finally understand that we now have a "distance" and will just leave it as it is, hoping eventually the gap will
shrink itself.
For now, I've just got to suck up the poison and treat my wounds. The poison is a silent killer developed from self-hating. I think I've failed you, or I already have. To understand seeing the person
you love in another persons arms took me a third person's view. Now I know that you've always been hurt all along thought you look merry on the surface. In your darkest hour, I should have been there talking to you as your bro, cheering you up which I pledge but have now failed! TOTALLY FAILED!
It will take me sometime to get over it and give you your space. Even when the distance you make will result in not-ever-talking. I'm contented and already glad I found a friend in you.
It might not happen but I'll always hope we'll talk again. But like you say, not everything we favour
will happen. Even my friends think I frighten you and eventually wont be talking ever again. But I still have faith in you for a reason.
I'll put this topic to an end
take care( I think
thats the only word worth saying)
silenced at 10/12/2007 08:26:00 PM
